There are some Nintendo franchises that just don’t cut the mustard anymore. For a long time that was Metroid, with new titles relegated to handheld consoles as Prime 4 slowly fell into a state of development hell. But, with the success of Dread and Prime Remastered, things are now changing for the better. So that leaves F-Zero, a futuristic racer that last received what many consider a proper entry back on the Nintendo GameCube. A few virtual console ports and a GBA game or two aside, Captain Falcon and friends have been lost to gaming history, bar the odd meme about Falcon Punches.
As harsh as it feels to say, I can understand why. Despite continuing to hold a dedicated and passionate audience of fans who love to revisit the old games, ultra-fast racers set in a weird universe aren’t exactly the easiest sell. Especially when your platform is already home to the likes of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, which I’m pretty sure Switch owners are legally required to own at least six copies of. For casual audiences, something like F-Zero is harder to swallow. But today’s Nintendo Direct provided a morsel of hope that maybe, just maybe, a new game is on the way. And it is! Except it’s a free-to-play battle royale exclusive to Switch Online…
While the announcement was being made, I could almost feel the collective grief from the F-Zero fan base pouring out in desperation, and how their one final chance at redemption had not only been dashed, but treated as a celebratory comeback by Nintendo. Here it is, the new game you wanted with extra modes, mechanics, and similar bells and whistles.
I understand where Nintendo was coming from, but goodness me it feels tone-deaf and far removed from what its audience actually wants when it comes to games like F-Zero. We would love to see a brand-new HD entry with modern interpretations of characters, tracks, and gameplay, not this trendy (if you can still call battle royales a trend in 2023) monstrosity. I’m sure it has a lot of cool appeal, but it feels gross to re-engineer a classic series like this in need of a revival instead of something new.
On the other hand, Nintendo has found success with 99 formula in other, seemingly ill-fitting games, like Tetris and Mario, so surely a classic racing game with pixel origins would work just as well? Sure seems like it, otherwise I doubt a game like this would be trounced out with such fanfare. You have to think about whether a triple-A F-Zero game in 2023 would make sense, make bank, and fill a hole in Nintendo’s portfolio that remains unoccupied.
Since, right now, I don’t think it has that, a cutesy online freebie like F-Zero 99 was always going to be the best we were going to get. Maybe one day things will change, and maybe F-Zero 99 might reignite some interest in the series. But right now, I ain’t holding out hope.